How To Get What You Want

by | Nov 6, 2019

On Monday night, when I was walking home after class, I saw a shooting star. I’ve only ever seen one other shooting star in my life. It was when I was in the south of Vietnam, in a town called Mui Ne. It was really special, one of those movie-moments where everything seems hazy and like time has stopped.

I made wish on the star back in Mui Ne, and I made a wish on Monday in Beckton too. (Even though the Beckton experience was a touch less romantic!)

Part of me felt childish and silly, thinking wishing on a star is stuff for fairytales. But another, bigger part of me, believes that putting your wishes and dreams out there, is one big step closer to them becoming reality. I have a philosophy/formula when it comes to wishes, dreams and goals.

First step (often the hardest part) is deciding what you want.

What is it that you want? If you saw the shooting star tonight, what would you wish for?

And let’s get clear on your goal. What specifically do you want to achieve or get?

As an example, let’s say you want to feel fitter or stronger. This was my goal a few years ago…. Think more specifically about what you actually want to achieve. Because you could do 5 jumping jacks right now and technically your wish would’ve come true.

I decided I wanted to be able to do an Iron-X. (A pole move in the pic above.) Hugely demanding on the body as you hold your bodyweight solely in your arms and shoulders, and you suspend yourself out to the side. It was a big, audacious goal that was a milestone and proof for being “strong and fit”.


It’s beneficial to set a deadline too. It helps focus the mind, and prevent procrastination. If you give yourself 1 month to do something, you betcha you get your ass in gear the week or day before it’s due!

So I set myself the goal deadline of getting my Iron-X by Christmas.

(As it happens, it was 3 Christmasses later that I achieved the Iron-X. But hey, you live and learn!)


I’d done step 1 – set the goal, make it specific, give it a deadline.

Next is step 2, believe and know that it is possible.

You can use external proof – like if someone has already achieved it. This helps give you confidence that it is indeed possible, and therefore you too could achieve it.

I don’t know about you, but I often find external proof is not enough. It’s easy to put people on pedestals and make out they’re superhuman and “little-old-me wouldn’t have a shot.”

So instead of looking to the outside. I find it’s incredibly helpful to look within.

Do you ever get that feeling? That you just know. You know you can do it, that you’ve got the capability. That’s the feeling we’re looking for. Even if it’s just a the glimpses of that feeling.

Place your hand on your heart, and take five big breaths. Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.

This exercise changes your biochemistry, and allows your mind and body to better focus and connect.

“There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.”

Friedrich Nietzsche


When I touch my heart and take big breaths, it helps slow everything down, and helps me think and feel more clearly. And in this moment, I repeat the following phrase…

“{Your name} you are 100% capable of doing this. No matter how inventive, persuasive, creative or how hard you’ll have to work to get this, you can absolutely do this and figure this out.”

I learnt this technique from life coach Marie Forleo, who believes:

“You wouldn’t have the dream if you didn’t already have what it takes to make it happen.” 

Marie Forleo

Another super influential way to believing and knowing you can do it, is by saying it out loud.

Make that wish to the shooting star. Put it out there into the universe. Say it out loud, write it down, think it a million times over. Before you go to bed… the first thing you do when you wake up… on your commute… whilst washing your hair. As often as you can. The more alive it is in your mind, the more likely it is you’ll take action.

Which brings me on to step 3… let’s get this ball rolling.

Dreams, goals and wishes unfortunately don’t just appear by believing and wishing and rubbing your magic 8 ball.

You’ve got to take action. This can sometimes be overwhelming. It seems like such a big goal, so much to do, where do you even start?!

So I want you to think about the next best step. What’s one thing you could do today, (right now?) to help make progress?

For my goal of getting the Iron-X, I took small, consistent action. Slowly and gradually getting closer to achieving my goal. I found a Personal Trainer to help me strengthen the specific muscles I’d use in the Iron-x. I learnt the technique from 3 people who I knew could already do it. I posted my progress on my Instagram and Facebook to help keep me accountable.


And then one day, I finally got it! I was ECSTATIC!

Was it easy to achieve? Hell no! I put it lots of effort, time, sweat, tears, and commitment. But if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. And the feeling of achievement wouldn’t have been anywhere near as sweet. At times, I wondered if I’d ever be able to make it. I did, and I felt so proud of myself for achieving my goal.


Don’t give up. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or tired. Take a break, rest. But keep on going. Because you can do it. It is possible. And you are 100% capable of doing this. 


First step… what do you want? Let me know your pole goals, life goals, or anything you’re working towards right now in the comments below. I’m here to cheer you on and keep you going for your dreams!