You scroll through your colleague’s Instagram. It shows all her latest pole moves she’s learnt. In fact, that is all she seems to post. Wonder what ever happened to her puppy she used to take pictures of? Maybe it grew too big and is no longer as cute.
And of course, hearing about your friend’s stag do a few years back, where they ended up at a strip club. The thoughts of a dark room, filled with old men and a couple of stag parties springs to mind. A few glamorous girls decorated in a handful of sequins (surely it’s itchy) taking it in turn to gyrate against a pole. The bride never did forgive the best man for that private lapdance he had bought her fiance. “Stripper juice all over him!”
And that’s been it. All you’ve seen and heard about pole dance.
You know it’s a “fitness” thing. And you do want to feel stronger and get more flexible. And it’d be so good to fit into your black jeans again. The thought of going on a treadmill makes your body shudder – so boring.
You’ve always wanted to try pole dance.
So you boldly book yourself on to a taster class.
Before you know it, it’s the day. The taster class is tonight. You’ve packed your shorts and a top, praying others will also come in shorts too. Maybe everyone will be really fit, and skinny, and you’ll feel all fat and exposed. Is it going to be strict like the ballet class you went to when you were 5 yrs old? Oh jeez, what if you’re expected to have some form of grace?! You feel more like a giraffe in rollerskates.
Work is way busier than usual. You tell yourself you’ll just do another 15 mins and you’ll pick up the rest tomorrow… oh and this email. Glance at the clock, ok it’s gonna be tight but you’ll make it just in time.. maybe 10 minutes late. That’s ok.
Grab you’re coat, dash out and walk straight into your manager. Have the longest 5 minute chat about the meeting earlier, quickly excuse yourself as you’re running late. “What for?” …*think quick* … “errr…. a new dance class I’m trying. For fitness.” Can’t tell your boss you’re starting pole dance!
8 minutes until the next train! What is this? The middle ages? You check the time and calculate you’re not gonna make it to the taster class. Gutted.
It’s not that you didn’t want to go. You did. But nerves about starting something new can put obstacles in your way. Like all red traffic lights when you’re in a rush.
You reschedule your taster session. This time determined not to miss it.
The day comes. You’re waiting outside in reception. Nervous, but excited. There are some other women waiting too, they look normal (reassuring). Studio door opens, Thunderbirds are go.
The room is bright, not seedy at all. There are yoga mats on the floor. It feels fitness-y. The pole instructor welcomes everyone. And after the warm-up, everyone watches the instruction for the first pole move.
You give it a go. Woah, since when did hands become so sweaty? Looking around, okay, everyone seems to be struggling with slippy hands. Pole cloths to wipe down the pole are handed round, as well as the option for chalk. Clearly it’s the norm to have sweaty hands.
You try a spin… omg what if you face plant? You dare to try it. Oooh, not so bad. You try another move, and another. So far, so good. The instructor talks about climbing. Seriously?! Climbing?? You follow the technique shown.
You can climb. Thank you strong legs! These thighs are good for something. Bam! Look at you go. Whoosh – retry another spin. Looking good. Feeling great.
The hour flies by. And you leave feeling full of energy! You’ve been chatting and laughing with one of the other women there too. That was so much fun. And you achieved so much, yaaaas! #winning
P.S the next day EVERYWHERE aches. Your tummy (hello abs), your arms, the bit on your back which rolls over the top of your bra strap. Oooh yeh.